So, today I’m doing some required summer reading/vocabulary stuff and I learned a new word. That word was flippant. I realized that I am flippant. I feel bad about being so flippant towards my parents! I always push them away, and I am so snappy when I respond to them. It’s funny how this summer I am learning how to be more aware and mindful of my surroundings (my school even has regular mindfulness activities that we are required to take part of!), yet I am very impatient and ignorant.
I really hope that after learning that I am flippant, I will slowly start to change my ways. I really do often regret what I say sometimes, like I always lay awake at night thinking about the “teenage-angst” things I’ve done towards my parents and feel pretty bad. I wonder sometimes, what do my parents think of me? Do my parents think that I’m a good child? Am I significantly better than my sister who goes to counseling every now and then, or am I just as problematic? I really hope that they think I’m a good kid in general…
Sometimes, I think about what would happen at my graduation party when my parents go up to speak about my childhood to the moment I graduated. Will they say that I was a great child just for the sake of all the family around, or will they genuinely say that they loved every moment of my childhood? Hopefully, the second one.
I’m going to try to avoid making flippant remarks from now on! Unless I need to…but only towards someone who shows a lack of respect to me first!