Vanilla

What is wrong with mom?? Not only is she emotionally abusing me, but feels she needs to push the fact that I got into That School.  Ok, I get it, I got in! Yay. But I don’t care what you want; I have personal goals that I set for myself and I have control over my own life. I don’t need to be redirected down another life path to suit your wishes. My mother is so annoying, she keeps looking at me and swinging her legs like a child. Why? I don’t know what her problem is but she’s definitely got one.
Not only that, she keeps commenting on my physical appearance. I don’t care if I have a ton of pimples or am physically bigger than my sister. Yeah ok maybe I care a little, but those are my personal problems not yours, so therefore, it is none of your business. I never like to comment on others’ physical appearances because it’s very rude and I never want something like that to happen to me. If someone really wants to make a point to tell me what they dislike about my physical appearance, then they should say it out loud in front of everyone. I don’t care! It’s not their business and the only reason why they’d be doing that is for the benefit for themselves. They’re obviously jealous about something that I’ve accomplished that they haven’t. Maybe they are just upset with me and the only come-back they can think of is a snarky comment on my appearance. Whatever, it just shows how childish they can be and how that won’t do justice to anyone.
My mother is one of them. She wanted to go to That School when she was younger but she was never bright enough to go. It’s not surprising really. She always likes to point out my pimples, whenever I get a whole breakout and says that something like that never happened to her. I don’t care! The only reasons why I’m getting these is that I’m being stressed constantly about going to That School, I’m getting home later, and I’m going to bed late. Part of this really is your fault. Mother also likes to point out that I’m physically bigger than Ashley or “why are your friends so skinny any you’re not?” Well, it hurts. It shouldn’t, but sometimes things like this hurt because people have mental battles with themselves and society is controlling peoples’ paradigms. I have a mental battle with my self every single day when I look in the mirror or even when I am at school, and I don’t want to be reminded about it at home by the people that are supposed to love and accept me no matter what. Yes physical appearances and looks shouldn’t matter that much, but self-acceptance is hard to achieve when the people you love are people who kill your self esteem and are constantly judgmental.
My advice for future me is to embrace yourself and to love yourself even if no one else does. I am perfect and I don’t need people in my life constantly correcting me on my opinions or choices. Being happy is also a big key to self-acceptance, and if there is someone in your life at the moment or even all the time, then you should cut them off and stop talking to them all together because they’re just holding you back from your full potential. I am always going to encounter people like my mom who are annoyingly judgmental and I will always have one person in my life at the moment who feels the need to comment on my physical appearance in a rude way.
Any comment on my physical appearance shouldn’t matter. Looks aren’t everything and they certainly aren’t important. I may not be ‘perfect’ in your eyes, but in mine, I’m more than perfect, I’m beautiful.

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